December 7, 2012 by Sarah
I had a pretty rough day yesterday. What surprised me the most was not that I had a rough day and that I felt really crap – but more so the timing of it all. Things are really really good at the moment. So good in fact, that many of my play projects are quickly starting to PAY! I’m working on some more commissioned drawings and I’ve even sold another two of my paintings. So why the sad face?
I think I’ve unconsciously entered self-sabotage mode. For some reason my brain is programmed to think that ‘work’ has to be hard and painful – even if it is stuff I really enjoy. As a result I seem to unconsciously make all work (even the stuff I enjoy) hard and painful.
I’m also starting to wonder whether I secretly fear my own success. People standing on the side-line of my journey tell me I’m so close to creating the life I want, and I honestly feel that too. But part of me is really scared of getting there and I can’t figure out why. Rather than figure this out, it seems way easier to reach for the self-destruct button.
NOT THIS TIME! I’m determined to ride this one out. I’m going to keep asking questions, try different solutions and above all else, never ever give in. I’ve just got to keep on keepin’ on.